This is my first article in a series which will contain excerpts from my book Inside EA - A Behind the Scenes Look at How Estate Agents Operate as well as other anecdotes from my time working as an estate agent at the sharp end of the London property market in boom and bust conditions. I hope they offer some light relief and I'm sure some of the scenarios I have encountered will be familiar
This first tale has a theme of lingerie and the training of new negotiators. In the mid-nineties, I worked as a senior negotiator in a busy high-street branch of a large corporate agency. An easy- going personality, good communication skills, and a great sense of humour made me quite popular with my peers. Younger members of the sales team would look up to me and were comfortable approaching me when they needed assistance. So when it was considered time for a trainee negotiator, whom we'll call Dave, to be shown how to appraise properties, I was the ideal candidate.
Dave was an honourable guy who, prior to becoming an estate agent, had served in the armed forces. After achieving his sales targets consistently for several months, our manager asked me to start taking Dave along to selected market appraisals. One such appointment was for a Miss X, who had a garden flat she wanted to sell. The young woman was not going to be present but told us to go along to the property, where her boyfriend would be available to greet us and show us around, although he did neither.
Dave and I walked up the garden path and rang the doorbell. A man in his thirties, with slicked-back hair and forearms that read Millwall' answered the door. I introduced myself and presented my business card to him. The man looked us up and down then grunted something which we took to mean we could go in.
Another grunt signalled that we could show ourselves around the property. Miss X's boyfriend rolled a cigarette and went off to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Unsurprisingly, he didn't offer us a cup of tea.
Working our way around the property, we moved into the bedroom and began noting its key features. When taking down the dimensions of a room, we'd measure from wall to wall. So where a fitted wardrobe covered most of a wall, we'd measure to the inside of it, but before opening its door to do so, we would always request the seller's permission. We did this out of courtesy, because people keep all sorts of things in their wardrobes that they may want to remain private. However, on this occasion, since the seller's boyfriend was quite hostile, we didn't ask. Also, as there were two of us, measuring into the wardrobe would've taken seconds. We took a chance.
I held one end of the steel measuring tape against one wall, while Dave fed the other into the back of the wardrobe. I noted the width of the room, and as the tape retracted, it snagged a satin lace item, which flew across the room and landed on the floor. We both stared at what looked like a suspender belt lying in the middle of the room and then looked up at each other and simultaneously said, Oh s***! Do we pick it up and put it back, risking the boyfriend walking in and finding Dave clutching his girlfriend's undies, or do we leave it lying on the floor on display
The decision to act was over in a second, as Dave kicked the item under the bed and out of sight. We completed our appraisal and left the flat. To this day, I wonder what Miss X thought when she found her suspender belt under the bed. Did she think we put it there, or that her boyfriend was a cross-dresser
*Steve Lucas is the author of Inside EA - A Behind the Scenes Look at How Estate Agents Operate
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